Last month, I secretly used an AI mouse to boost my Excel formula generation speed by 300%. My boss thought I was burning the midnight oil and almost gave me a bonus—until he realized this thing could auto-block Slack/Teams messages. Certified slacking tool, confirmed!
1.Features You Thought Were Useless—Office Workers Are Already Addicted
🔹 Late-night Anti-Surveillance Mode: Hold the AI button to block all work software notifications. (Screen displays “Loading…” while fake keyboard typing sounds play in the background.)
🔹 The Ultimate Meeting Survival Kit:
✔️ Auto-Transcription filters out your boss’s “Uh… so… umm…”
✔️ Real-time Translation turns a coworker’s blame-shifting speech into “Your suggestion is incredibly insightful.”
✔️ One-Click Email Generator creates “Project delayed, but not my fault” templates in 8 languages.
🔹 Cyber Superstition Buffs:
💙 Revision Mode (cool blue)
❤️ Roasting Mode (blood red)
🖤 Lying Flat Mode (mysterious black)
2.Expensive ≠ Overpriced! The High Cost Goes into These 3 Technologies
🚀 Military-Grade Noise Reduction Chip – Tested in a noisy market, it still accurately recognizes “Change KPI to OKR” (Includes an audio comparison: angry market vendors vs. AI mouse recording).
🤖 Anti-Hustle Algorithm System:
▶️ Rejects Fake Overtime: AI condenses a one-hour report into three bullet points.
▶️ Fights Toxic Corporate Jargon: Auto-detects “Wolf Spirit”, “Empowerment Strategy”, etc., and pops up a mini-game instead.
✋ Global Patent Gesture Library:
✌️ Peace Sign opens WhatsApp (pretending to take a selfie but actually ranting).
🤘 Rock Gesture instantly switches screens (for when the boss walks by).
3.If You’re in These 5 Groups, Buy Now or Regret It in 3 Months
🚇 Commuting Office Workers: Dictate reports on the subway, send them with one click at the office.
🌍 Remote Employees: Auto-generates “supportive comments” for foreign clients: “Brilliant idea! Let me steal… I mean, study it!”
🎨 Designers/Writers: AI-powered DALL·E + ChatGPT brainstorming. Client wants 100 drafts? Done in 10 minutes.
🎮 Students: Instantly switch screens during online classes. AI auto-plays a “standard answer” when the professor calls on you.
👨👩👧 Tech-Savvy Parents: Built-in parental mode lets you spy on your kid’s screen and generates fake “Late-night study” posts for your WeChat Moments.
Still think it’s expensive? Let’s do the math:
👉 Skip 10 overtime shifts = Save on taxi fare
👉 Avoid 3 blame games = Reduce mental damage
👉 Side hustle during work hours = Earn an extra $500+ per month
So, is it a rip-off or an investment? You decide. 😏